Dave Littlefield is afraid of black people

After the Morris deal I started thinking about how all the Pirates' big contracts go to mediocre white guys. I remembered a Q&A on their website last season, where someone had written "The Pirates are the whitest, most American-born roster in baseball; Is there anything to it?" At the time I was just impressed that Q&A guy decided to field that one. Now I realize it was a plant, set up to reassure us that everything is fine. Things are not fine, Ladies & Gentlemen: Dave Littlefield is afraid of black people.

2001 Payroll Leaders
1. Brian Giles
2. Kevin Young (black!)
3. Jason Kendall
4. Derek Bell (black!)
5. Omar Olivares (other)
6. Pat Meares

2002 Payroll Leaders
1. Brian Giles
2. Jason Kendall
3. Kevin Young (black!)
4. Kris Benson
5. Mike Fetters
6. Mike Williams

2003 Payroll Leaders
1. Brian Giles
2. Jason Kendall
3. Kevin Young (black!)
4. Kris Benson
5. Mike Williams
6. Aramis Ramirez (other)

2004 Payroll Leaders
1. Jason Kendall
2. Kris Benson
3. Kip Wells
4. Brian Boehringer
5. Jack Wilson
6. Raul Mondesi (other)

2005 Payroll Leaders
1. Matt Lawton (black!)
2. Mark Redman
3. Jack Wilson
4. Kip Wells
5. Craig Wilson
6. Josh Fogg

2006 Payroll Leaders
1. Sean Casey
2. Jeromy Burnitz
3. Jack Wilson
4. Kip Wells
5. Joe Randa
6. Craig Wilson

2007 Payroll Leaders
1. Matt Morris
2. Jack Wilson
3. Cesar Izturis (other)
4. Shawn Chacon (black!)
5. Jason Bay
6. Adam LaRoche

After hitting his orgasmic peak of white supremacy last season, Dave decided to curb back on the hate by picking up outrageously bad Cesar Izturis, hoping that we wouldn't notice the pattern. That's currently the best theory I have for what the trade was about. It was just so goddamn stupid.

Here are some more names from just the last two seasons - enjoy:

Mike Edwards
Ryan Vogelsong
Tom Gorzelanny
Paul Maholm
Jonah Bayliss
Matt Capps
John Grabow
Matt Kata
Josh Phelps
Ryan Doumit
Nate McLouth
Xavier Nady
Bryan Bullington
Sean Burnett
Dave Davidson
Zach Duke
Josh Sharpless
John Van Benschoten
Brad Eldred
Chris Duffy
Jim Tracy
Jim Colborn
Jeff Cox
Bobby Cuellar
Jim Lett
Jeff Manto